I've Always Been Boring

Once upon a time, I was nine years old. The year was 1990. For some reason, I felt like I should keep a journal. And my, it was chock full o' interesting tidbits. Here is a sample:

“The Property of Kara and only Kara’s. I will never give it away.”

January 1, 1990

“I got up at 7:00 and watched TV a little bit. Me my mom and my dad cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. My sister didn’t. I cut some threads off a towel. I helped a lot. Then I sat around. My Grandma and Grandpa and Ron and Roger came over. 9:15. That is the end.

[My sister was six. Clearly, she was a lazy child and did not cut as many threads as I did.]

January 2, 1990

“I got up at 7:30. I watched parades. We went some places. Mom came home. We went to Menards. We went to eat. We went to Hardees. Then we came home.”

January 3, 1990

“I got up erly. I didn’t now when to go to be case I had to go to Cherly’s. So I went to Cherly’s. We sleighing. I had fun. Then we came home.”

April 10, 1990

“I got up at 5:45. Last day of school. To bed at 8:30.”

April 11, 1990

“I got up at 5:45. I have to go to Cheryl’s house. At school we didn’t have any work; almost. It was exciting today. It was our last day in school ‘til Tuesday. We went looking at bikes. I settled on a straight handled bike, at K-Mart. I almost got an ugly one from Farm & Fleet. I got to bed at 9:30.”

April 12, 1990

“I got up at six (as usually). I don’t know why I keep on thinking about Kris L. I went shopping today. It was really exciting. It is Grandma’s birthday. We had to put up basketball hoops. I went to bed at 9:00.”

June 23, 1990

“Up at 8:00. But I think I am more excited about tomorrow. You could guess, but no time. Picnic time! Roger is staying at our house tonight. We went to the graveyard. Today is exciting. Once in a lifetime. Bed at 10:30.”

[This one is my favorite because of the sarcasm. At least, I hope it's sarcasm. Picnic time!]

June 24, 1990

“Up at 6:30. Yesterday I wrote “Picnic Time.” I meant Wolf Family Reunion.”

July 23, 1990

“Up at 5:45. Went to pick up Laura. Didn’t do much.”

July 27, 1990

“I have no idea what time I got up. April 12^th, last year, I just happened to mention Kris L. I’ll tell you why I think of her. She stinks! Anyway, I had a birthday party today and I went the fair.”

[I really enjoy how I yadda-yadda-yadda'd past the birthday party and fair to bitch about Kris. Who must have been a total bitch.]

October 18, 1990

“Got up at 7:00 Got read for school. We had different classes. I had art. We did splatter painting (didn’t have it!). Bed at 8:30.”

October 19, 1990

“I got up at 7:00. We got ready for school. We got on the bus. We had different classes. Bed at 9:00.”

October 24, 1990

“Up at 5:45. Got ready for school. Went to Ceryl’s. I went to school. We had different classes. I came home. Bed at 8:30.”

December 25, 1990

“Got up at 6:00. I got a microscope, pencils, slippers, yo-yo and more.”

[Nerd alert.]

December 28, 1990

“Up at 6:00 Went shopping. I don’t know why but I think I’m more independent. Sheila’s birthday. She has the features of Lisa. We went sledding for the first time this year. Bed at 9:00.”

December 29, 1990

“Up at 7:30.”

Wow, I had the world's most boring journal. I imagine this is what a prison journal might look like. Apparently it was very important that I chronicle the time I got up and went to bed. DETAILS PEOPLE.

And what was my adorable younger sister writing about when she was eight?

January 3, 1992

“Well, my Dad is working. My sweat puppy Max is playing in his great kennel. I just wrote a story called “Your NO fun!” and my first day of school! When I grow up I’m going to be a puppy doctor. Oh, how much fun I’ll have. Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!”

January 7, 1992

“Some days are sort of hard for me but I live through them. I just love my dog, Max Alexander. I love my name. My mom is very pretty. My dad is handsome. My sister is weird and my dog is cute.”

May 30, 1992

“Today was a good day. We went to Fleet Farm, Dairy Queen, St. Mary’s school and Shopko. I am very, very tired. I think I will sleep good tonight! I wish I was in 6^th grade so I could stay up later but I am only in third grade! Yesterday was our last day of school!”

Her journal is so much sweeter than mine. Exclamation point!

Also, she called me weird. That's so polite of her. (And thanks to Erin for transcribing the journals and making sure that they were passed around to Mom and Dad while I wasn't there to defend my boring-ness.)

I Would Like to Walk on this Sunshine that You Speak Of

I guess I haven't been into the blogging lately. I was also expecting two people to facilitate me not having to write an entry. Neither of them have delivered. I am, of course, pointing the finger of blame at Andy (where is my guest entry?) and Erin (where is the stuff you transcribed? You are a Liar.) [Note: Erin is my sister. She does not read this. That's right - my own sister doesn't read my blog.] I think I deserve some serious snaps for embracing "blog" , by the way.

So, let's see what is new. I haven't had many consumer-related stories lately. I'm actively avoiding calling Sprint back. And I need to call Comcast to downgrade my cable. I still haven't set up my TiVo since I got internet service so I could have a fully-functioning TiVo unit. I need to buy a router.

Well, wait, Sprint did call me today to try to get me to upgrade my account. I said that I didn't want their free phone or cheaper service because I didn't want to renew my contract. The woman couldn't seem to understand why I wouldn't want this Great Deal. I asked for something in writing and she said that wasn't possible. I'm on to you, Sprint.

I'm in physical therapy for my knee. I find the weekly ultra-sounding of my knee to be disturbing and awesome. I do not find my knee pain to be awesome though.

Maria and I walked around Lake Calhoun this evening.

And yes, you're right - I'm not supposed to be taking long walks because of my knee. But come on - who wants to pull me around in a little cart?

I'm Only Happy When It Rains or Shines

I woke up this morning and thought, "Today is the day! I'm going to update my.....blog!" and then I cheerfully pranced over to my computer after getting out of the shower. I thought to myself, "I'm going to write about this great spring weather! La tee da!"

And then I procrastinated, watched The Today Show for too long and had to go to work.

And more importantly, I went outside to get to my car. It was so disgusting outside. Completely gray, raining and blah.

This was the weather's way of saying, "Don't you dare be stupid and write about me in your blog. Writing about the weather is lame."

Weather, you're a jerk.

Yeah, Sorry About That

Andy is right. I should write about our harassment of Meg, the very nice Lunds cashier, on Friday night. It fits in so well with the new recurring theme.

I'm going to back up for a second though. Both of my regular readers will remember when a nice cashier at Lunds told me that she liked my hair. On Friday night, Andy, Erin and I walked around the lake and stopped at Lunds for salads on the way back. We went through this same cashier's lane and we exchanged pleasantries.

Later that evening, we were at Mortimer's. That place sucks now, by the way. Anyways, Andy made eye contact with this cashier from Lunds on his way back from....the ATM? The bathroom? I'm actually not sure where you were coming back from. Anyways, the eye contact led him to believe that he should go back to say hello, but not by himself. With me, since I already have a pre-existing relationship with this young woman.

Turns out, her name is Meg. And she moved here in September. And we had a VERY awkward conversation with her. I know a conversation is going downhill when I'm talking to someone's friend about how often I have to go to the bathroom when I'm at a bar since I'm drinking water because I'm the designated driver. (I win the long sentence award....I'm not going to edit that.) I don't even know how the conversation ended. I just remember walking away and being embarrassed.

So, I'm guessing she walked away from the conversation with the following:

• She probably thinks that Andy and I are dating. Or that one of us wants to date her.
  
• She probably thinks that we're insane for introducing ourselves. And for complimenting her work. (My bad.)
  
• She probably hopes that neither of us go through her lane again.

Seriously. I love bullet points.

I saw her at Lunds tonight. I actually avoided going through her lane so that I wouldn't have to explain our behavior on Friday night.

How I Spent My Snow Day

Okay, back to the Adventures in Consumerism theme.

I went to the gym today [seriously - a plow (plough)! BUY ONE, MINNEAPOLIS! I shouldn't be risking my life to get to the YWCA.] and after I got done shoveling out the end of my condo's parking lot, I went in to the building to get my mail. And therein was my Sprint bill. I was absolutely shocked to see that I owed $124. Okay, I don't talk on the phone that much. I'm not a phone talker.

Someone had run up $80 in "additional usage charges". Someone was kind enough to download such ringtones as "Let's Cheat, I'm a Pimp", "Ass Like That", "This is Why I'm Hot" and my favorite - someone downloaded the game "Nascar 07."

I called Sprint and - oh, I love it - it was a dropped call. Foiled by Sprint! Twice over! I called back and spoke with a CSR and he told me that because the charges were "verified", I had to pay for them. I told him that I wouldn't and asked for a supervisor. He put me on hold for awhile and came back on the line to tell me that because I was a long-time customer, they would be willing to make me only pay half of the charges, but that I couldn't speak with a supervisor. Which led to this conversation....

Me: That is not acceptable. (And then more blah blah blah about why....I remember saying the word "nor".)
Him: Well, I can't reverse these charges.
Me: I'm saying that I did not download the ringtone "Let's Cheat, I'm A Pimp" and I'm not going to pay for it.
Him: Okay, I'm going to transfer you to a supervisor.

The supervisor seemed to understand. He said this is actually fairly common for people to have their cell phones "cloned" by scammers who want to download shitty songs as their ringtones. But they need to investigate it and I'll find out in three business days if these are fraudulent. However, I already know they're fraudulent.

Lame, Sprint. I'm adding you to my list of Corporations that I am Forced To Do Business With Against My Will. Here's the list so far:

• Comcast [oh, I have a very special place in my heart for the deep hatred (yes, hatred) I have for Comcast]
  
• Bank of America
• Best Buy
• Sprint

And for the record, I'm very nice to CSRs. I am a dream customer. I know it's not their fault - it's way above their head. I only get snippy when they're being ridiculous.

E-Mail My Heart

I am very fond of crappy pop music. And not in your typical "I'm ashamed of it" way that most 25-year-olds are/should be. I blatantly embrace crappy pop music. Oh yes, I have C'est La Vie by B*witched on my iPod. (And now I'm listening to it.)

And then there's the pop music that I don't think is crappy. A certain J. Timberlake comes to mind.

And that brings me to Ms. Britney Spears. I've always felt a special connection with Britney because we grew our bangs out at the same time. It was fall 1999/spring 2000. I was in my freshman year of college (Go Gophers!) and it was time to say goodbye to the bangs. I don't know if you have ever grown out your bangs, but it is not an easy process. There's the bobby pins, the never-being-able-to-put-your-hair-up and the dreaded Awkward Stage. It's good to know that someone else is going through the same process with you. Anyways, Britney and I - we got through it. And that's where our lives took very different paths.

But I stayed in touch. I had Toxic as my ring tone on my cell phone. I didn't judge when her marriage to Jason Alexander was annulled. When she kissed Madonna, I didn't think that was a big deal. And although I have a pretty serious aversion to snakes, I watched her VMA performance with the snake. Okay, I did get a bit too much enjoyment out of her marriage to Mr. Kevin Federline. But come on - who didn't?

But, Britney, you've lost me. I know I was never in your key demographic. I was always too old. But you are in dire need of a good friend right now to say "Seriously. Knock it off." Where's Madonna? You guys were totally BFFs in 2003. And that girl who was your personal assistant/best friend - where is she? She seems like someone who could set you straight.

And I'm thinking that you should stop hanging out with this Paris Hilton girl. She's bad news.