E-Mail My Heart

I am very fond of crappy pop music. And not in your typical "I'm ashamed of it" way that most 25-year-olds are/should be. I blatantly embrace crappy pop music. Oh yes, I have C'est La Vie by B*witched on my iPod. (And now I'm listening to it.)

And then there's the pop music that I don't think is crappy. A certain J. Timberlake comes to mind.

And that brings me to Ms. Britney Spears. I've always felt a special connection with Britney because we grew our bangs out at the same time. It was fall 1999/spring 2000. I was in my freshman year of college (Go Gophers!) and it was time to say goodbye to the bangs. I don't know if you have ever grown out your bangs, but it is not an easy process. There's the bobby pins, the never-being-able-to-put-your-hair-up and the dreaded Awkward Stage. It's good to know that someone else is going through the same process with you. Anyways, Britney and I - we got through it. And that's where our lives took very different paths.

But I stayed in touch. I had Toxic as my ring tone on my cell phone. I didn't judge when her marriage to Jason Alexander was annulled. When she kissed Madonna, I didn't think that was a big deal. And although I have a pretty serious aversion to snakes, I watched her VMA performance with the snake. Okay, I did get a bit too much enjoyment out of her marriage to Mr. Kevin Federline. But come on - who didn't?

But, Britney, you've lost me. I know I was never in your key demographic. I was always too old. But you are in dire need of a good friend right now to say "Seriously. Knock it off." Where's Madonna? You guys were totally BFFs in 2003. And that girl who was your personal assistant/best friend - where is she? She seems like someone who could set you straight.

And I'm thinking that you should stop hanging out with this Paris Hilton girl. She's bad news.